Divorce Mistake #4: Forcing the kids to take sides. It is a painful time – you are angry and just want to hurt your spouse, but never, ever use your kids as pawns in the process. The best thing you can do for them is remind them that both parents love them and will be there for them, no matter what happens. Resist the urge to badmouth your soon-to-be ex in front of your kids, no matter what he’s done.