Divorce Mistake #15: Refusing to mediate. The thought of sitting down at the table and trying to hash things out civilly with your ex might make your skin crawl, but you’ll be making a mistake if you don’t give it a shot. You may not be able to settle all issues without hearing from a judge, but coming to an agreement on some will save you time and money. You may be pleasantly surprised to find that you and your ex actually do agree on some things!