Divorce Mistake #17: Making oral agreements outside of the divorce agreement. Divorce is not the time for oral agreements; your ex may promise you the moon, but without clarifying the details in your official settlement, those promises mean nothing in court. It may feel strange to make everything so specific and official, but in the end, your ex can’t then make a claim to your retirement, or take the lawn mower, or deny your visitation with the kids over winter break. The proof is in the writing.